Ayan – Tamil movie review

I run a company called “Dash of Masala” and frequently have people ask me what “masala” means. I generally struggle to explain the meaning of this ubiquitous and uniquely Indian word, just because it is so pervasively used in India, not just to signify that perfect blend of spices that whet your appetite and add piquancy to your dish, but also to signify any kind of perfect, finely-honed blend.

And “masala” is the word that sprang to mind when I watched “Ayan” the tamil movie, last night. Why? Because it was the perfect entertainer. I am one of those people who prefer movies that are light, fun and exotic. I am also one of those people who love to watch beautiful people dressed in clothes that cannot be carried off by the hoi-polloi, prancing to throbbing music, beating up bad guys and becoming good by the end of the movie. So, by definition, I am a masala movie fan. And the movie “Ayan” was all that and more!

Take a large dollop of two extremely beautiful, young, vibrant, gorgeous, drool-worthy specimens of humanity. Saute that in a story line of drug lords, African diamonds, movie piracy, diamond smuggling, international travel, customs officers and a gory murder. Add a large cup of a steamy love affair, a back-stabbing brother-in-law, a huge lover’s tiff, a big misunderstanding, and a wonderful making up. Stir fry for about 3 hours. Add a garnish of a couple of sentimental scenes with a widowed, doting mother. And you got it! A masala movie!

Surya, as the hero, is the ultimate droolable male. Beautiful, with greek god chiseled features, gorgeously muscle bound, 6 pack abs, and wonderful emoting abilities, he commands the screen. Tamanna is his lissome love interest, she of the pouting lips, creamy skin, large doe-like eyes and a slender, curvaceous figure. Her role is that of a playful, flippant young college going girl, who is very sure of her beauty and her appeal. All other protangonists are a foil for this beautiful pair – you cannot take your eyes off the screen when either one or both appear.

No Indian movie is complete without the song and dance sequences. And this one has it in abundance: fabulous music, hip-shaking gyrations, gorgeous costumes, lots of supporting dancers, opulent scene settings, and above all, the Indian male’s dream – the heroine wearing the floating chiffon saris complete with beautifully cut backless blouses.

The scenes set in Congo were simply breathtaking with rugged landscapes, undulating deserts and vast rocky mountains.

Ok, now to cut to the chase: here is the story in all of one paragraph: Hero is a bad man who smuggles diamonds, indulges in movie piracy but has a good mom (Oh, glorious womanhood!), meets heroine, falls in love, dances with her, fights with her, makes up with her and then suddenly switches sides to help the cops catch a rival thug. So, he becomes a good guy and his mom asks the cop who worked with the hero to help her son become a good guy. So he becomes a good guy and makes his mom happy. End of story.

Rating: 5 stars, if you like easy-on-the-eye actors, glorious settings, fabulous dances, fantastic costumes, lots of fights, hot chases, and a forgettable story line.

If you are a girl, go see it for Surya’s glistening muscle-bound hot bod.

If you are guy, go see it for the curvy cute Tamanna’s beautiful pouty smile.

Pay to play!

One of my favorite Tamil movie scenes is a comedy routine, performed by the actor Vivek. In that scene, Vivek is traveling on a motorbike, when he is stopped by a cop for speeding. The cop asks him to dismount and starts writing up a ticket. Vivek is all braggadocio and he blusters to the cop, ” I know the Police chief!”. The cop immediately stops writing the ticket and starts groveling. Vivek then puffs up his chest and cannot stop himself from saying, “BUT, he doesnt know me!” To which the cop responds by thrashing him.

It is a hilarious scene, but also a sad scene, because that is the true state of affairs in India. You get by, by who you know. And you get by, by bribery. Your business runs on whose palms you can grease. You can get off the hook by paying. You can land jobs, movie tickets, seats in restaurants, big contracts, anything, by paying money. And in the Govt. there is a fixed price tag for every job that your elected officials are already paid to do. You need a passport? No problem, just pay an extra Rs 500 along with the passport fee. Everyone down to the office peon gets a cut. You need get approval on a real estate form for building your factory? No problem, just pay Rs 100,000 and it will get done.

Money just doesn’t talk in India, it sings.

And people are so desensitized that bribery is no longer something to be ashamed of, corruption is no longer “under the table”. In India bribery is a blatant, “Sur la table”! In your face!

So when I read the screaming headlines of the past two days: “Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich busted in an early morning operation because he was caught on tape negotiating to sell Barack Obama’s old Senate seat” I felt a sense of deja vu. Been there, seen that.

But what I hadn’t seen before was the media frenzy at Governor Blagojevich’s brash and open misuse of power. As I watched the news media cover the whole sordid tale, the one thing that emerged was the indignation of everyone in Illinios at the fact that everything was “Sur la table”. They couldn’t believe that Blago, as he is fondly referred to, had lost all sense of dignity of his position, all sense of shame, any honor and any respect for the people he was representing. Blago so believed he was above the law that he openly taunted the FBI to investigate him and place wire taps.

As a fairly recent transplant from India to the US, I revel in and enjoy the cultural differences between the two countries. I found that one of most striking cultural differences is between the way Indians speak and Americans couch their words – it is simply the polish. It is a refined and genteel way of saying the unpalatable. Whatever Indians say bluntly, the Americans I know, will pretty the same thing up, and arrive at it in a roundabout manner.

Going by the media frenzy, especially on CNN, it appeared that Blago’s crime was not just the fact that he was corrupt. There are other corrupt politicians. Especially other corrupt Governors from Illinois. Blago’s heinous crime was that he was blatant: his every demand was open. His misuse of power was rampant. True to American form, the media came up with a “sound bite” in order to spare our sensibilities. Pay-to-play!